Fairly OddButlers
by Lioner15
Summary: What if instead of Sebastian as a demon butler, Ciel got Fairy God Parents? That's some summoning gone wrong, my friend... My attempt at humor.


**Hey everyoneeee. This is my first time trying to make something just be funny, so it might be lacking in humor because I'm not the best in jokes lol. Enjoy! **

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><p>Ciel was an average noble,<p>

That no one understood.

Mum and Dad had been killed

And he was stuck with Elizabeth

"PINK HATS!"

One day in the summonin' circle,

Two things suddenly appeared!

Magical lil' crows that cast his ever wish

IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE

Oh yes it's Odd Butlers, Fairly Odd Butlers!

"Wands and wings!"

"Floating pointy things!"

Odd Butlers, Fairly Odd Butlers

Wishing for death upon the others!

"Guillotine, burning, stabbing, maiming, poison, some wine, AND SOME CAKE!"

Odd Butlers, Fairly Odd Butlers

Join in all the fun (or something)

With the fairly Odd Butlers

"MOAR PINK"

Yeah!

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><p>"Ready Cosmo?" The crow with the swirly head-feathers asked the raven to her side.<p>

"Youuuuu bet, Wanda!" It cawed back.

In a split second the two cross transformed into a pair of pink and green fairies floating over their kid's bed. "Hey, Ciel! Wake up!

The twelve-year old groaned in reply and rubbed his eyes. One was midnight blue, while the other had a unicorn with rainbow sparkles in it. "Okay, okay..."

"Hurry, you're going to miss the bus for school!" The one named Wanda exclaimed, getting Ciel's Hello Kitty shapes eye-patch from his bedside table.

"What's the point of school anyway? I'm Ciel Phantomhive, I don't need to go to school..."

"That's what Cosmo said, and look where he ended up." Wanda muttered.

"Yeah, he ended up marrying you." Ciel retorted like an angry girl on her month. "Now come on, turn back into ravens or whatever the hell you are and let's go."

Don't forget your toast!" Said the green-haired fairy, shoving a price of over burnt toasty-toast into Ciel's mouth. "Every Otaku knows that every main female character runs to go to school with toast in their mouths! DUH!"

Before Ciel had a gender identity crisis, Wanda sighed and just wished for him to be at his bus stop asap.

At the bus stop were Ciel's friends Doll, Joker, and Beast. Don't ask about their names, they were raised in a Wi-Fi-less house.

"CIEL!"

Just as Ciel and his totally not suspicious birds were about to fraternize with the three weirdo friends, Ciel's worst female enemy came.

They say that this little girl could take over the world if she wanted and force everyone to wear pink, so naturally she was feared. They say she was born from a unicorn and a demon who didn't use protection that night. Her mortal name was ...Elzabeth...

Lighting filled the perfectly clear sky as she made her way over to the blue-haired boy and hugged him. "CIEL! Oh my GAWD you look so ADORABLE! I could just EAT YOU UP! Or keep you in my closet, WHATEVER WORKS!"

"Wow, still hanging around common girls, are we Phantomhive?" Said a stuffy and quite annoying voice.

Ciel knew who it was instantly. "Alois Trancy...what's the richest pretty-boy in London doing here? Did your jet run out of fuel? And don't you have some Pimp party in America to be at?"

Alois flipped his luscious blonde locks, instantly making every girl within radius swoon and fall over from massive nose bleeds. "My private jet never runs out of fuel thanks to MY fairy, which is much more amazing than your two dumb things."

Indeed, Alois's butler-fairy, Claude Fausthawt was good looking. He also could tap dance, so that's a thing.

Ciel just kept his mouth shut, not wanting to draw attention to himself anymore. It was bad enough that the love of his life, Sieglinde, was with that awful Alois. Sure, he had Daddy problems...like really REALLY bad Daddy problems, but that was no excuse.

"Guys, can I skip school for today, please?" Ciel murmured to his crow companions. "Please? I can't take another day of Professor Michaelis ranting about how Angels are evil. Honestly, Angels!"

The two fairies stared at each for a sec and decided that it was the best time to not explain Anti-Angel World and the evil Anti-Angels.

"Fine, but just for today..." Wanda said, raising her wing with her magic wand and sending the three of them home in a blink of a second. "Now, what are you going to do in your spare time?"

"The usual, R-Rated stuff." Ciel replied, reaching under his bed and getting an AK-14 from it.

The fairies both sighed and nodded to one another in unison, thinking the same thing. "Next time, we're going with the pink-hatted kid."


End file.
